Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gifts. Show all posts

Sunday, September 7, 2014

My Question is Why

It's been a long time since my last post. And I've been traversing the country and world between now and then. I've learned a lot of things. Maybe I'll be able to share some of them sometime…

I've met many people this summer between ASI and YD and GYC Europe.
Some were old acquaintances, some were new.

I was privileged to hear many of their stories. Many were filled with life and joy and hope. But I also listened to accounts of broken heart after broken heart, broken home after broken home. And as I did, one question haunted me…

Why?

Why am I so blessed?



Why was I born into a Christian home?
Why was I born in a country of religious freedom?
Why have I escaped the all-too-common broken heart syndrome?
Why was I allowed to homeschool without authorities knocking on my door?
Why do I live in a home where my parents still love each other and love me even after 23 years?

Why am I so blessed?

I've pondered that question the entire summer.

The truth is, I've been blessed, not because I'm more special than any other individual on the planet, not because I've merited it and not because my parents were good people.

I have been blessed for this reason only…

…that I might be able to live my life to bless others without distraction.*

"Freely ye have received, freely give." {Matthew 10:8}


* Note: I do face personal trials and struggles on a daily basis, but all are relative when you compare them with the Cross. 

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Faithfulness for Faithfulness

[In reading back through my journals, I came across this entry from two Christmases ago. It's as poignant a thought now as it was then…]

Oh for more time… There have been countless things from recent days that I’ve been wanting to record in my journal yet alas, time is slipping through my fingers like water and so many things will probably remain unsaid. But I must tell of His faithfulness. He is always faithful Faithful to sustain, faithful to give, faithful to comfort, faithful to love, faithful to bless, faithful to me

Throughout the past few weeks I’ve seen His faithfulness time after time despite my errors and mistakes. And I’ve been thinking back to His faithfulness over 2,000 years ago… when He faithfully sent His Son, His only Son, to redeem this wretched, lost world. 

                                     ~ ~ ~

I cannot even imagine the heart-wrenching tears shed that day, so long ago, when the Father gave up His Son. The pain, the agony of separation, the immeasurable sacrifice and most of all, the knowledge that victory is not necessarily certain. Eternity’s future rests upon the success of the mission. The wicked foe will try his hardest. 

All Heaven feels the solemnity of the moment. The final embrace, the final words, the final smile among tears as Son assures Father, It is for love, Abba, for love… They are Ours. I must redeem them. There is no other way to pay the ransom. There is no other way to annihilate sin forever. There is no other way to demonstrate Your true character to the world. There is no other way for them to understand divinity except if displayed in humanity.” 

There is a pause. The unspoken pain of separation is felt. Father and Son have never been apart before. And through the eyes of Heaven, the reason for estrangement seems hardly worthy. Angels look on in wonder at how heavenly beings can treasure marred, sinful creations. Yet love is stronger. 

The Son speaks a last time with tears in His eyes. “Oh how much I love You, My Father! Oh how much I love You! ” And then He is gone. The throne sits empty. All heaven is silenced. The attention of the universe turns upon planet Earth, upon the young virgin, with growing stomach. 

After what seems like an eternity the momentous night arrives. The young couple arrange to sleep in a dirty stable. Sobs of angels ring throughout the heavenly courts, yet they know this must be. All Heaven holds its breath. Suddenly a penetrating cry breaks the atmospheric silence. Jesus is born. Heavenly beings look on in astonishment, hardly comprehending that the tiny bundle could be the King of the universe, the One who just days before was commanding the heavens. Yet indeed it is He, born a helpless, tiny babe, born to save.

For thirty-three years heaven continues in tense observation. The throne remains empty. Joyous songs remain dimmed. Once again we find a silent Heaven anxiously observing another night in history. Yet this time, it is not a baby’s cry they hear but a cry of heartbreaking anguish and soul-wrenching pain. They see Him, apparently forsaken by even His Father, still acknowledge His love and forgiveness to the undeserving. Sobs again fill the atmosphere of heaven. Finally a cry rings throughout the universe. “It is finished.” All Heaven stirs. Victory is assured. The King has conquered! 

Eager anticipation mounts as angels are selected to make the triumphant flight to earth. Heaven sits on the edge of its seat, waiting… Finally the command is given. Trumpets sound and the quickest flight to earth is made. The leading angel throws the stone aside. Moments seems to drag by. Suddenly there is movement within the dark and dusty grave. Christ steps forth victorious! 

After remaining on earth just long enough to comfort the heart of a weeping woman, Christ ascends to His Father. He has waited thirty-three years for this. Tears mingle with smiles as Father once again embraces Son. Heaven is reunited. Finally the Father speaks. “Welcome home, My Beloved and Only Son… You have vanquished the foe. You have conquered sin forever.” Angel voices chorus, “Hallelujah!” 


And yet, though sin was defeated over 2,000 years ago, our world still exists in its deplorable state. The reason? We have not returned faithfulness for faithfulness. Human hearts have waxed cold. Christians are content to live a lukewarm existence. I see careless indifference on every side. My soul burns with agony. 

But like the faithful few of long ago, there are a handful today who recognize the faithfulness of the Father. Although the depth of sacrifice is beyond human compensation, they loyally give what they can in return—their faithfulness. 

Will I be found faithful to Him who has given all for me? 


Friday, November 29, 2013

Blessed and Broken

In contemplating gratitude I am reminded of a story, actually two stories. Stories that have been the theme of my year…

It's bread He holds in His hands as He lifts eyes to heaven on the crowded hillside surrounded by 20,000 people or in the upper room with His special twelve. This bread, this life, this miracle waiting to happen…

After He blesses, He breaks. Because brokenness without blessing makes men destitute and hearts grow cold.

The blessing always comes before the breaking. 

Yet brokenness is not the end of the story.
Blessed bread is broken and given away. And it's in the giving that it's multiplied. 

Healing comes through brokenness.

The promise grows to meet our need. Whether twelve or twenty thousand.
Miracles happen. Bread is multiplied. Hearts are fed. But only through torn pieces.

--

I’m blessed and broken, as a token, of a love I can’t deny. 
I’m torn in pieces, by my Jesus, the only way to beautify. 
Though the pain be bittersweet, This transformation He will complete.
I’m blessed and broken, for only brokenness can heal.
© Glesni Mason, 2013



Saturday, November 23, 2013

Beautiful Ugly

I love all things beautiful.
And it's a beautiful life I live. Every part of it.

Oh, I may cry. I may wonder.
I may wish things were different.
I may at times wish to see beyond the misty shroud upon my pathway.

Yet my God is also a lover of the beautiful. 
And making my life beautiful is exactly what He is attempting to do. Even through the ugly.
Because sometimes it is the ugly that makes something beautiful. 

Sometimes it's the only thing…

The beautiful-ugly.
If anything falls under the category of miracle, that does.

A miracle of Love poured out upon an ugly planet bathed in ugly scars.
A miracle that transforms ugly hearts.

A miracle that looks past ugly surfaces to discern uncut diamonds, hearts of beauty covered by years of filth.

He calls the ugly beautiful
        He calls each beating heart beautiful…
                He calls me beautiful…

And He promises to love me forever and always. Not because I'm beautiful, but because I'm ugly. 
It's the ugly that makes the greatest contrast when transformation occurs anyway.

He calls my ugly beautiful.
My love overflows.



Saturday, September 28, 2013

To Know His Heart [The Making of Heroes Part IV]

Sometimes we see only the love.
Ardent affection springs from our own hearts as we offer Him praise.
We warm His heart.

Other times we see only the pain.
We instinctively draw back because we don't want to risk being hurt.
We break His heart.

Rarely do we see both and want His heart.
Because our natural tendency is to shy away from pain.

In fact, our reflex reaction is to stay as far away as possible.
And so when we are wounded, we hide hurt, fester hurt, and too often avenge hurt.

We want the love, but we don't want the pain.
And we think we're doing ourselves a kindness… 

A falsity if I ever heard one.

How can we expect to know the heart of God and not know His pain?
We pray to be intimately acquainted with Him, and yet we don't want the package deal.

Is it that we don't trust Him?
Have we forgotten that it's God's heart that throbs with joy and anguish blended, always?

If we are going to make any impact on our generation, we have to know and have God's heart.
And we learn only by embracing both love and pain as He sends them our way saying, Thank You…

He's the Giver. He gives the gifts. And He only gives good gifts.



Monday, July 29, 2013

Abandonment

The word resonates within me. 

A friend has challenged me on a deeper definition. And so I sit with journal in hand on a dock in mist rising, thinking.

...

Forsaken. Left to suffer alone. 
Given up utterly, completely, recklessly.

Abandonment is not often viewed as a positive concept or source of security, yet it has two definitions, and Christ lived them both. 

Unrestrained surrender. 
Unparalleled rejection. 

His life was one of sacrifice, and to Him that sacrifice was joy. A life of abandon. 

This is the life He asks of me. This abandonment lived out on a day-to-day basis.  

The actuality of living the concept is a slippery one, yet not entirely out of reach. 

My life must be surrendered. It must become not my own. And more than that, I have to crave this kind of life, or else I will never be able to live it. 

Abandonment is not an easy road. It hurts. And there is no skirting the pain. 

I must learn to treasure sacrifice and call it joy. I must learn contentment when I am utterly poured out, completely given. I must show compassion even when I feel it least. 

My life must become a gift. And I must be content to give that gift at cost to myself. 

It will cost. No question. But the cost is worthwhile. 

No question. 



Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Do You Realize?

I lie on my bed, the sun shining in its brilliant splendor outdoors, yet my eyes closed and curtains drawn indoors. My head pounds like hammer on anvil. Yes, I have plenty of time to think today. Plenty of time to be still…

Sometimes God gives me the gift of a different solution to my questions than I intended. Yet beneath my thin sheet, mask and earplugs, I am smiling. I am counting my blessings. 

I laugh sometimes at His sense of humor. Perhaps I shouldn't, but if you knew all the circumstance you might just laugh too. :)

It's been three weeks since I landed on this soil. Three weeks to the day. They have come and gone like sand through a sieve. And as I lie in complete consciousness amidst the muted childlike activity beyond my open window, I can't help but review them. 

Humid mornings attending preschool. Soccer games in black of night. Unexpected hugs at anytime of the day from anyplace on campus. Surprises not to be forgotten. Finger-feeding blended beans and non-sticky rice to one-year-olds. An aching arm from pushing kids on swings over one hundred times some days. The struggle to communicate in a language unfamiliar. A muddy yet exciting hike up the mountain. Honduran noises. (I'm convinced these people must be half deaf). Baleada (among other authentic food) experiments in the kitchen. The early morning bird chorus. Coloring, creating, making activities for the kids. Purchasing school supplies when you don't know what half the things are. A hefty stalk of perhaps 60 medium-sized bananas for a dollar. Continual prayers to show Jesus. Time in La Zona with friends old and new alike. Emails from friends that challenge and encourage me. The realization of my abundance once again. A sick day. The opportunity to simply be here

Yes, I'm thankful for all these things and so much more. 

Wiping one tear. Creating one smile. Holding one child. Changing one diaper. Pushing one swing. Hearing "Glesy" dozens of times a day. Doing one thing to bless one person, to touch one life

Do you realize how blessed you are? There are thousands of children who would prize just your worn pillow as their greatest treasure. There are thousands of children who would do anything for just one bowl of food from your table. There are thousands of children who want nothing more than someone to care. 

Do you realize how much you owe?

Sisters
Camera happy? :)
Just like Migel…
Happiness
Can't get over those eyes…
Little friends
Nicole
This swing is the favorite
Cuteness
Watching
I love Arturo's smile…
Ramon and Yeferson
Joy
Genesis… :)
Jump!
Don't ask… :)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Filled with Gratitude

Another year has passed into unalterable history. My heart is filled beyond over-flowing with gratitude. My God has been so gracious to me this year.

I think back on lessons He has taught me and opportunities I have had… They are all blessings. 
I see His fingerprints everywhere along my path. 



My thankfulness encompasses two consecutive days. Special days. Days to especially express gratitude from the depths of my heart. Not that I don't thank Him every day of the year. I do.

But I've had special time to ponder my thanks over the past couple days. I cannot but praise Him. 
For so many things…

My spiritual experience has gone deeper this year than ever before. I have been pushed and encouraged  by friends and my fire has been kindled brighter by the coals from His fire. You know who you are… Thank you from the bottom of my heart. 

I have learned so many lessons: That adversity is my greatest blessing, every life matters, brokenness brings transformation, war takes every last drop of blood I have. Yet He has enraptured my heart.

I have also been blessed with so many opportunities this year that I never could have dreamed of on my own. God always out-gives. Always…

I'm counting my blessings, yet they are innumerable.

Thank you, Father… I know You will prove Yourself faithful yet again this coming year.


Saturday, July 7, 2012

Gift of the Crucible

Has it really been an entire week since I was surrounded by nine energetic faces ranging from age one to thirteen and laughing with one of my best friends? It’s a thought hard to comprehend. So much has transpired between now and then, but the memories are as vivid as though it were yesterday.

Those 36 hours were filled with laughter, creativity, discipline, hugs, tears and mischief yet I wouldn’t have traded that last weekend for anything.

From dirty faces covered in the remnants of a traditional African meal, to reenacting David and Goliath, to playing tag in the oppressive heat, to cuddly kids, to dealing with obedience issues, to getting all nine kids through the shower, to hours of reading Swift Arrow, to making sure everyone ate their food, to baby smiles, to crying onion tears… Yes, they are memories I will never forget.

Yet after the flurry of the Crucible had abated and I found myself on a truck headed to Idaho, I contemplated the concept of a crucible again. And it was then that I realized that the crucible is the epitome of my Savior’s love.

For it is in the searing heat of trials that we learn to hear His voice best. It is only when we feel our complete incompetence to live a godly life that He can truly align our heartbeat with His and tune our lips to sing His praise…

The crucible is a precious gift.



Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Stamped with the Cross

 “All the blessings of this life and of the life to come are delivered to us stamped with the cross of Calvary.” {Christ’s Object Lessons, 362}


Not a blessing does God give without an inscription of the cross, concealed or visible. And He often proves adversity to be my greatest blessing.

Hardship and suffering are not situations I particularly desire.
In fact, my human flesh naturally recoils at the thought of sorrow or pain.

I was not originally created to ever experience these consequences of sin. Yet since the fall, these are Christ’s chosen instruments to purge my character from the traces of evil.

I stop and desperately attempt to consider sin with an eternal mindset…

In the light of Calvary, is there anything in my life worth holding onto?
Is there anything too dear for me to relinquish?

I can think of nothing…

Then why do I shrink from the approaching sound of adversity's footsteps? Why do I not embrace the pain, the heartache, the sorrow with unconditional gratitude? They are but a gift of love from my Father, a blessing stamped with the cross…

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

A Gift Called Grace

Grace: an attribute of God shown to undeserving human beings.*

There are but few attributes of God’s character shown to fallen man alone. Included in this special handful is grace. The only qualification for reception is unworthiness. The only prerequisite, sin.

Sin necessitates grace. We do not pursue grace, instead grace is sent in search of us. And it is when grace comes knocking at our doors that we are expected to respond.

God’s highest joy is to bestow the gift of grace on undeserving mortals. Yet there must be a mutual transaction. When God freely gives, we must reciprocate by graciously accepting.

"We are debtors to the world for the grace given us of God…"**

Will others see glimpses of grace in you? 

* Heavenly Places, 34 
** Christian Service, 10