Fire Dweller

Fire.

It seems to be a common theme when discussing the Christian journey. 

I have frequently experienced it in various forms in my life.

But of course, my "fires" are all relative. 

I'm not suffering from cancer.

I'm not in a dysfunctional, abusive family.

I'm not malnourished, neglected or unloved.   

And I don't take those things for granted. 

I am very grateful. 

To me, "fires" always punctuate life. 

It's just something to expect. They come and they go. 

I had a change of perspective this week though in that regard. 

I was reading through Isaiah 33.

"Who among us shall dwell with the devouring fire?"

Dwell? Really? Not someone who just experiences fire every once in awhile?
Someone who dwells in the fire?

The description continues…

Walk righteously. 

Speak uprightly. 

Despise oppression. 

Hate bribes. 

Avoid hearing of bloodshed. 

Close your eyes from seeing evil. 

Sounds pretty saintly to me. 

Sounds like a description of perfection. A description of God. 

Then the familiar promise is given.

"He shall dwell on high: his place of defense shall be the munitions of rocks: bread shall be given him; his water shall be sure."

And you will see the King in His beauty. 

Wait, this promise is for the fire dweller?

How did I not realize this before?

In order to receive the promise, I must hold my half of the bargain. 

Fire must become my lifestyle. 

I must become a fire dweller. 

Then I shall see the King in His beauty and be fed from His hand.

Gift for the Minion Girl

"Therefore [because I am to be a beacon on a hill] the Lord is waiting to bestow kindness and favor on me despite the fact that I am His inferior. He arises to shower compassionate love and mercy upon me. He is a God of justice. If I wait for Him, I will find happiness." {Isaiah 30:18, my paraphrase}

I blink twice, trying to absorb Hebrew meanings.

Hello? This is me He's talking about.
Me. His little minion girl.

The girl who falls and makes mistakes.
The girl who gets herself into trouble with her choices
The girl who is trying but so often falls short of God's ideal.

Yes. The very one.

God is waiting — patiently, anxiously, longingly waiting.
Waiting to give me every good thing, every kindness, every favor that heaven could bestow.

Yet it's a two-sided agreement.
He waits for me. I wait for Him.

Waiting is best rewarded in solitude.
"Quietness and confidence shall be your strength." {Isaiah 30:15}

I must wait more.

Faithfulness for Faithfulness

[In reading back through my journals, I came across this entry from two Christmases ago. It's as poignant a thought now as it was then…]

Oh for more time… There have been countless things from recent days that I’ve been wanting to record in my journal yet alas, time is slipping through my fingers like water and so many things will probably remain unsaid. But I must tell of His faithfulness. He is always faithful… Faithful to sustain, faithful to give, faithful to comfort, faithful to love, faithful to bless, faithful to me. 

Throughout the past few weeks I’ve seen His faithfulness time after time despite my errors and mistakes. And I’ve been thinking back to His faithfulness over 2,000 years ago… when He faithfully sent His Son, His only Son, to redeem this wretched, lost world. 

                                     ~ ~ ~

I cannot even imagine the heart-wrenching tears shed that day, so long ago, when the Father gave up His Son. The pain, the agony of separation, the immeasurable sacrifice and most of all, the knowledge that victory is not necessarily certain. Eternity’s future rests upon the success of the mission. The wicked foe will try his hardest. 

All Heaven feels the solemnity of the moment. The final embrace, the final words, the final smile among tears as Son assures Father, “It is for love, Abba, for love… They are Ours. I must redeem them. There is no other way to pay the ransom. There is no other way to annihilate sin forever. There is no other way to demonstrate Your true character to the world. There is no other way for them to understand divinity except if displayed in humanity.” 

There is a pause. The unspoken pain of separation is felt. Father and Son have never been apart before. And through the eyes of Heaven, the reason for estrangement seems hardly worthy. Angels look on in wonder at how heavenly beings can treasure marred, sinful creations. Yet love is stronger. 

The Son speaks a last time with tears in His eyes. “Oh how much I love You, My Father! Oh how much I love You! ” And then He is gone. The throne sits empty. All heaven is silenced. The attention of the universe turns upon planet Earth, upon the young virgin, with growing stomach. 

After what seems like an eternity the momentous night arrives. The young couple arrange to sleep in a dirty stable. Sobs of angels ring throughout the heavenly courts, yet they know this must be. All Heaven holds its breath. Suddenly a penetrating cry breaks the atmospheric silence. Jesus is born. Heavenly beings look on in astonishment, hardly comprehending that the tiny bundle could be the King of the universe, the One who just days before was commanding the heavens. Yet indeed it is He, born a helpless, tiny babe, born to save.

For thirty-three years heaven continues in tense observation. The throne remains empty. Joyous songs remain dimmed. Once again we find a silent Heaven anxiously observing another night in history. Yet this time, it is not a baby’s cry they hear but a cry of heartbreaking anguish and soul-wrenching pain. They see Him, apparently forsaken by even His Father, still acknowledge His love and forgiveness to the undeserving. Sobs again fill the atmosphere of heaven. Finally a cry rings throughout the universe. “It is finished.” All Heaven stirs. Victory is assured. The King has conquered! 

Eager anticipation mounts as angels are selected to make the triumphant flight to earth. Heaven sits on the edge of its seat, waiting… Finally the command is given. Trumpets sound and the quickest flight to earth is made. The leading angel throws the stone aside. Moments seems to drag by. Suddenly there is movement within the dark and dusty grave. Christ steps forth victorious! 

After remaining on earth just long enough to comfort the heart of a weeping woman, Christ ascends to His Father. He has waited thirty-three years for this. Tears mingle with smiles as Father once again embraces Son. Heaven is reunited. Finally the Father speaks. “Welcome home, My Beloved and Only Son… You have vanquished the foe. You have conquered sin forever.” Angel voices chorus, “Hallelujah!” 

And yet, though sin was defeated over 2,000 years ago, our world still exists in its deplorable state. The reason? We have not returned faithfulness for faithfulness. Human hearts have waxed cold. Christians are content to live a lukewarm existence. I see careless indifference on every side. My soul burns with agony. 

But like the faithful few of long ago, there are a handful today who recognize the faithfulness of the Father. Although the depth of sacrifice is beyond human compensation, they loyally give what they can in return—their faithfulness. 

Will I be found faithful to Him who has given all for me? 

Unearthing Insecurities

I don't think it's just coincidence that so many on this planet struggle with insecurity.

I never thought I did. 
But I am discovering in my own life that the most dangerous insecurities are the unidentified ones.

It's a hidden trap. Disguised and unrecognized.

Christian society delights in pious platitudes. We say a lot. We want affirmation for the "high standards" that we profess. It's only natural for human nature to desire recognition.

Because of this I find myself having to constantly reevaluate my life, my actions, my priorities but most importantly, the motives behind the things I do.

Whether it is my use of social media, the way I dress, pursuing academic excellence, or anything else.

The list could go on.
It's easy to want to be acknowledged. To be appreciated. To have a good reputation, a following.

But wait a minute.

Didn't Christ make Himself of no reputation?

Yes, indeed.

It's a pause for thought.
Whose affirmation do I really crave?

I want a following. But not the following you might immediately think of.
I'm learning to desire a following of blessing.
And not just the Lord blessing me, but a blessing that leaves a wake.

I want to leave a trail of blessing behind.

And I want my security to be in Christ alone.
So I'm reevaluating.

Are there any hidden insecurities in my life that I need to address that are preventing the Savior from being my true security?

Warped Priorities

{Jeremiah 35}

“You shall drink no wine…”

Just a mortal command. Yet the whole extended family for generations would not violate it. 

Discussion over. No variance.

Then there was the divine command. And it seemed the entire nation reveled in its violation.

Why the dichotomy? Why, I ask myself, could the mortal command be so exonerated and the divine command so disregarded and trampled on the ground?

Is it because their sense of priorities had been warped? 

Because their senses had been dulled to that which was most important?

Ouch. 

Those questions hit a little too close to home. I’ve been pondering them already and making changes. I can’t afford to have my priorities warped and my senses dulled to that which is eternally important. No, for to do so would to be to pronounce my own sentence. And it would not be a sentence in my favor…

Our adversary likes to take subtle measures with our culture. And unconsciously our priorities shift to what might still appear harmless, yet isn’t where we should have our primary focus. It’s a sobering thought. 

“Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.” {1 Corinthians 10:12}

Broken Pieces {Beautiful Vessel - Part II}

{Jeremiah 19}

Shards. Shattered fragments. Broken pieces.

The Israelites had made a mess of themselves, no doubt about that. And God was ready to cast them onto the ground like a potter’s bottle to be broken beyond repair. 

It seems utterly heartless. 

How could a God of love execute such fearsome justice?

Yet I realize they were hardened. The material of their hearts was as brittle clay, unfit to be molded. 

He had no other choice.

But the beautiful thing is, although the shards of our sin are utterly shattered, He doesn’t reuse those pieces. He starts afresh with new material.

And the outcome is more beautiful than anything our finite minds could even desire. Yet still He is not satisfied.

Yes, you’ll be used for hard labor and go through harrowing experiences, but He has a special place on His glass shelf embedded with amathysts and diamonds just for you…

And He cannot be truly satisfied until you are there—His beautiful vessel.

The Potter's Hands {Beautiful Vessel - Part I}

{Jeremiah 18}

Hands caked with evidences of pottery sculpting. Clay lining all the creases. 

Gentle fingers guiding a softened adobe-colored lump. 

His brow slightly furrowed in concentration. Eyes intent on the subject of expertise. 

Deft hands working for the perfect outcome.

A sigh escapes pursed lips. Defect detected. 

Doubtless it wasn’t the Potter’s fault. He is the Master.

No… the clay itself is flawed. Its original composition is altered. 

Carefully the Potter removes the deformed lump from the wheel and with His hands remedies the formula and places the reshaped clay again upon the wheel. Silence induced by concentration again ensues.

Finally, after hours of perfecting, a beautiful vessel begins to take shape. Perfect in symmetry, exquisite in appearance, practical in service and sturdy in character, this vessel is no ordinary work of art. Into each creation He pours equal effort, nevertheless they are all unique, individual and stunning in composition.

I may attempt to make myself beautiful, yet without the correct formula, I can never succeed. 

Only when I am pliable in the Potter’s hands, can any true beauty emerge.

And who would desire to be in another’s hands? His are the gentlest earth has ever known.

They are the Potter’s hands…

Try the Reins

{Jeremiah 17}

A contrasting passage.

Deserts and rivers. Salt plains and lush foliage. Blessings and curses. 

And who or what deserves this comparison? Humanity.

It’s a distinction… 

Between those who trust in man and those who trust in God.

Between those who make flesh their strength and those who make the Lord their hope.

Between those who depart from the Lord and those who seek His face continually.

Yes, this is the basis of the contrast made previously.

As the One who searches and knows the depths of every heart gently tugs on the reins, He watches to see whether we will quickly turn in response to His guidance, whether we will hesitate or whether we will refuse in outright defiance. 

It is His divine measure which we all must encounter. A standard that our eternal salvation rests upon.

He is trying my reins. What will be my response?

What will be yours?

Plea for Pardon

{Jeremiah 14, 15}

Omnipotence seems settled in His verdict. Jeremiah equally decided in his.
A potential field for verbal conflict.

Dialog ensues.

God: “The entire nation of Judah is suffering from [spiritual] famine.”

Jeremiah: “On behalf of Your character, show Yourself to be faithful and mighty to save.”

God: “Don’t pray for the good of this people.”

Jeremiah: “The prophets proclaim there is no peril of famine or sword.”

God: “They speak only lies; for truly the sword and famine are prevalent throughout this nation.”

Jeremiah: “Have you completely rejected Judah? Is there no hope for us? For Your name’s sake, do not break your covenant with us. We will wait on You.”

God: “Even if Moses and Samuel were standing before me, I still could not show favor towards these people. Because they have forsaken Me for other gods, I will forsake them to the results of their choices.”

A moment of silence transpires. The atmosphere is tense. The entire universe holds its breath.

God: “Nevertheless, I will be gracious with the remnant and cause thy enemies to flee.

Nevertheless…
I love that word!
Not compromise. No… But rather an indicator that Love is greater.

And Love can never disregard a plea for pardon from a sincere petitioner.

False Security

{Jeremiah 8}

“Peace, peace,” they cry, “when there is no peace.” {Jeremiah 8:11}

The perceived security of being God’s chosen people is crumbling silently beneath their feet.
They have put their trust in the wrong places.

Horses and human wisdom will ultimately fail. Only One is safe to trust; only One will never let us down.

Throw off the false security of being a professed “Christian” and grasp the never-failing hand of the One who never fails…

Humanity may fail us. Heaven will not.

From Broken to Beautiful

I look down into dark beautiful eyes, still searching to answer the question of focus and stroke incredibly soft olive skin. I gently finger a dainty nose, delicate ears and tiny lips, all the while fighting mixed emotions.

(Forgive iPhone quality!) :)

Tears from a broken heart and smiles from a heart full of joy clash violently.  Why should such a tiny bundle of joy, still several ounces shy of five pounds, have to face such an uncertain future?

Merely the meaning of her name (unconsciously chosen) encourages me to trust her in my Father’s hands. Kirstin—follower of Christ.

I heard a staggering statistic the other week.
One out of three children grow up without their biological father. One in three.
The United States is the leading country for fatherless homes.

If that doesn’t cause your eyes to become moist, read it again.

Our fathers, our leaders are absent.
It is no wonder society is so utterly degraded and our nation is spinning out of control.

 
Yet sitting in the darkened NICU hospital room, gazing into dark little eyes, I can’t help but be amazed at God’s creative power. How He can turn the results of the ugliest situation into something so perfect, so completely dependent, so innocent.

And I ponder how God can take me, an ugly result of sin and transform me into an innocent little girl, learning to be entirely reliant on Him, entitled to be adopted in His family, to become an heir of eternal riches.

Yes, He makes all things beautiful in His time…

I choose to trust Him.


{Note: This is not my baby, just the daughter of a friend.}

Learning to Love…

I have a keen dislike for filth, disease and chaos. And most everyone else I know feels the same. Yet recently I have been impelled to reexamine my attitude toward these very things.

This world is steeped in the results of sin. There is no doubt about that. Everywhere I turn I see hurting exemplifications of humanity. And what I see doesn’t even scratch the surface…

It pains my heart.

Kirsten Dysinger

I wonder why…
Why was I allowed the privilege of a happy, normal home while the majority of the world exist with dysfunctional homes, destructive addictions, unfathomable poverty, gruesome wars, mistreatment, persecution, and other things I shudder to mention?

Glesni Mason

Then I pause and reconsider my own life… and I realize that I am just as impoverished and despicable as the most degraded of today’s society. Maybe more…

How can God love such an utterly miserable, disfigured person as myself? What motivated Him to risk all, to relinquish incomprehensible glory and power so that he might stoop to my debased level and save me? How could He discern the potential for beauty beneath my grime and wretchedness? 

Yet if He sees beauty in my ugliness, shouldn’t I learn to see beauty in ugliness too? I’m not talking about cherishing the condition. I mean seeing the capacity for beauty beneath the condition, unconditionally loving despite any unsightly externals.

Hasn’t He entrusted me with the responsibility to love the unlovable, the disfigured, the calloused, the abnormal, the dirty, the uncouth? Haven’t I been instructed to view every individual through the eyes of God, as a precious treasure?

Glesni Mason

Glesni Mason 

Oh, let me love as Christ loves.
Open my eyes to see the treasure beneath layers of filth, deformity, guilt and pain…

And let me remember that every life matters…

Glesni Mason

Glesni Mason

Glesni Mason

How can you not love these faces?