Do You Realize?

I lie on my bed, the sun shining in its brilliant splendor outdoors, yet my eyes closed and curtains drawn indoors. My head pounds like hammer on anvil. Yes, I have plenty of time to think today. Plenty of time to be still…

Sometimes God gives me the gift of a different solution to my questions than I intended. Yet beneath my thin sheet, mask and earplugs, I am smiling. I am counting my blessings. 

I laugh sometimes at His sense of humor. Perhaps I shouldn't, but if you knew all the circumstance you might just laugh too. :)

It's been three weeks since I landed on this soil. Three weeks to the day. They have come and gone like sand through a sieve. And as I lie in complete consciousness amidst the muted childlike activity beyond my open window, I can't help but review them. 

Humid mornings attending preschool. Soccer games in black of night. Unexpected hugs at anytime of the day from anyplace on campus. Surprises not to be forgotten. Finger-feeding blended beans and non-sticky rice to one-year-olds. An aching arm from pushing kids on swings over one hundred times some days. The struggle to communicate in a language unfamiliar. A muddy yet exciting hike up the mountain. Honduran noises. (I'm convinced these people must be half deaf). Baleada (among other authentic food) experiments in the kitchen. The early morning bird chorus. Coloring, creating, making activities for the kids. Purchasing school supplies when you don't know what half the things are. A hefty stalk of perhaps 60 medium-sized bananas for a dollar. Continual prayers to show Jesus. Time in La Zona with friends old and new alike. Emails from friends that challenge and encourage me. The realization of my abundance once again. A sick day. The opportunity to simply be here. 

Yes, I'm thankful for all these things and so much more. 

Wiping one tear. Creating one smile. Holding one child. Changing one diaper. Pushing one swing. Hearing "Glesy" dozens of times a day. Doing one thing to bless one person, to touch one life…

Do you realize how blessed you are? There are thousands of children who would prize just your worn pillow as their greatest treasure. There are thousands of children who would do anything for just one bowl of food from your table. There are thousands of children who want nothing more than someone to care. 

Do you realize how much you owe?

Sisters

Camera happy? :)

Just like Migel…

Happiness

Can't get over those eyes…

Little friends

Nicole

This swing is the favorite

Cuteness

Watching

I love Arturo's smile…

Ramon and Yeferson

Joy

Genesis… :)

Jump!

Don't ask… :)

Gift of the Crucible

Has it really been an entire week since I was surrounded by nine energetic faces ranging from age one to thirteen and laughing with one of my best friends? It’s a thought hard to comprehend. So much has transpired between now and then, but the memories are as vivid as though it were yesterday.

Those 36 hours were filled with laughter, creativity, discipline, hugs, tears and mischief yet I wouldn’t have traded that last weekend for anything.

From dirty faces covered in the remnants of a traditional African meal, to reenacting David and Goliath, to playing tag in the oppressive heat, to cuddly kids, to dealing with obedience issues, to getting all nine kids through the shower, to hours of reading Swift Arrow, to making sure everyone ate their food, to baby smiles, to crying onion tears… Yes, they are memories I will never forget.

Yet after the flurry of the Crucible had abated and I found myself on a truck headed to Idaho, I contemplated the concept of a crucible again. And it was then that I realized that the crucible is the epitome of my Savior’s love.

For it is in the searing heat of trials that we learn to hear His voice best. It is only when we feel our complete incompetence to live a godly life that He can truly align our heartbeat with His and tune our lips to sing His praise…

The crucible is a precious gift.

No More Tears

It's not easy to say goodbye and leave familiar faces, places, and memories behind. And there is valid cause for tears… Because we were not created to ever say goodbye. Earth was created to be a haven of companionship, friendship, togetherness…

Yet I cannot, will not, allow my tears to obliterate the signs of His love…
It's everywhere.

In countless boxes stacked inside a quickly-emptying basement and spread outside on the grass.
In many willing hands and hearts.
In meals generously prepared by loving hands.

In the laughter with a precious little friend I love dearly.
In a heart to heart talk with my friend of 12 years around the subdivision block one last time.
In joint tears while embracing my adopted little "sister."

 

In a big yellow truck branded, Penske.
In many passing miles, slowly carrying me away from one of the only homes I've known.
In phone calls and chats with friends.

In quiet silence driving a loaded van and trailer behind the truck.
In sunlight streaming through the hotel window.
In a song reminding me to Be Still…

His love is impossible for me to ignore. I see the fingerprints of His infinite care for me everywhere I look. And this reassurance encourages me to never stop trusting, never stop singing…

I miss you my friends… And although I definitely hope to see each of you again still on earth, my greatest desire is to be reunited forever in the heavenly courts above.

"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." {Revelation 21:4}

No more parting. No more tears.

Oh I long for that place…